Why I Speak In Public Even Though It Makes Me Want To Die

Speaking in public makes my body act WHACK. My hands shake, my voice shakes, my vision gets blurrier than the time Dad talked me into a pitcher of margaritas at that broke down Mexican restaurant in Dawsonville, GA.

Public speaking. I don’t like it. But it’s necessary.

For one, girls need see other girls on stage. I’m not a feminist (and trust me, you don’t want me burning my bras), but I believe women have something important and irreplaceable to say. And I hate to sound like a bitter old hag here, but most “women” on stage today are media-engineered caricatures — not actual human beings anyone can relate to. (That sounded nasty, right? Maybe I am a bitter old hag?)

For two, if you’re a writer or a creator, you have something specific you want to convey. For me, it’s helping other writers or creators find their voice. Speaking publicly, an increasingly ancient practice it seems, is one of the warmest, most organic ways to accomplish that. (I sort of hate myself for seriously using the word “organic”). What do I mean by that? There is no blog nor any Instagram post that I can write that would accurately portray my passion for people finding their purpose in life. You need to hear, see, be in my presence to fully understand its scope.

And, finally, I want to do things that are hard for me. If all I ever did in life is what comes easily to me, I’d binge eat Doritos and watch Netflix until my eyeballs bled. But I want to live a life that stretches me in all directions. I want to use up every bit of myself before I die. And then some. Sound morbid? Well, I’m a writer. We’re weird people. (And especially morbid.)

Below is a (super non-flattering) photo of myself speaking for The Tome Society. My bottom line was: Believe that the unlikely is possible. I pray and wish that for everyone reading. God wired you for a unique purpose. Don’t skip over that thought. Re-read it. Let it sink in. Only you can accomplish what you can do.

I want to blog more about that thought, but, alas…there’s a sequel that needs to be written.

Until next time …


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